James on Relationships

February 6
James on Relationships
James 4: 1-6

Intro
Intro with a story…what story? A story about arguing…

Or Intro of James

James 4
1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.

Conflict
Let’s face it, we are going to have conflict. In fact, if there’s no conflict, we will create it. If everything is going well in our marriages, our church, our society, there will be those who will create conflict by finding something to argue about. And conflict, if handled properly, is not unhealthy. Healthy conflict can bring us closer together. (Marriage role example)

2) Conflict can bring about much needed change.
Sometimes there are things that need to be addressed that will cause conflict. When we decided to shut down our pre-school, it was not an easy decision, as I recall it was a very difficult one.

I had conversations with many leaders and church members, including some of the founders of the pre-school. That decision could have easily ripped our church apart, but everyone was able to put aside their personal desires and feelings and together we recognized that as God was pulling us into the future the preschool was no longer part of that. It had met a need in the community, but now with the school system the preschool was no longer a need. We began the CARE Ministry in its place and have helped our community in a new and exciting way.

Continuing with v. 2
You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Unanswered prayers
(((Some prayers go unanswered because they are nothing but requests for the gratification of our worldly desires.)))

There is a feeling among Christians today that feeds off the excessive individualism and greed that runs through our culture, namely that God gives approval to selfish prayer. It says: “you are a child of God. God is a loving Father who would deny his children nothing. Therefore you can pray for anything you want, and God will give it to you. You want a new car? A bigger house? Fancy clothes? Just ask, and it will be given to you.”

Besides misusing Scripture, raising false hopes and making prayer a magic charm indistinct from witchcraft, this teaching ignores a well known fact. Does a truly loving parent give their children whatever they ask for? Of course not, parents know better than their children what they actually need and act accordingly. This verse speaks against this selfish philosophy pretending to be a biblical teaching.

4 You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
5 “Do you suppose the scriptures speak in vain when it says that there is a spirit in us which longs to envy?”
6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a pleasurable life per se. God gives us good gifts that God wants us to enjoy. But having friendship with the world involves seeking pleasure at other’s expense or at the expense of obeying God. Pleasure that keeps us from pleasing God is sinful, pleasure from God’s rich bounty is good.

From a Relevant Article
If we look at God's creation, it is quite obvious that pleasure in itself is not a sin, but rather a wonderful gift. But it is something that has been very deformed and abused by society. In the midst of our sinful nature, it became a god. It became something that we hungrily sought after for fulfillment and contentment rather than seeking God.

In choosing to love pleasure more than (or rather than) God who created it, we have actually cheated ourselves out of enjoying pleasure to the maximum. When this worship of pleasure turns into greed, gluttony, adultery and all kinds of other evils, it only serves to leave us poor and empty, lost and broken, still searching for something that will truly satisfy.

The truth is, the only thing that will ultimately satisfy is an intimate and unhindered relationship with God. Enjoying pleasure is no longer a "problem" but rather an act of worship and adoration for God who created it. When we enjoy pleasure through God, God receives the glory as the Creator.

But we don’t always do this. Often we pick the pleasure or the sin over God. Our unfaithfulness to God and that of Israel is often expressed in terms of adultery. The covenant with the Israelites, Jesus referring to the church as his bride all signs that we are called to be in a committed relationship with God. We shouldn’t cheat on God any more than we would a spouse.

v. 5 is a bit tricky. The interpreter’s have a hard time with this one. The Bible doesn’t actually say this anywhere. Which of course points to the idea that there was more Scripture that James consulted than what we have today or he might be referring to other Israel writings. The other problem is with the actual Greek of the text. There are two ways to translate it. I personally believe it is better interpreted this way because it makes more sense in the context of the scripture. It is because of our wondering eye, our envy of the world, what other people have that we stray from God.

So envy, quest for pleasure, asking for the wrong motives, quarreling all come down to what? What is the cause? What makes us an enemy of God? selfishness-putting myself ahead of what is best for others, putting myself ahead of what is best for God’s Kingdom.

((((The cure for selfishness of course is the opposite, humility. Pride makes us self-centered and leads us to conclude that we deserve all we can see, touch, or imagine. It creates greedy appetites for far more than we need. We can be released from our self-centered desires by humbling ourselves before God, realizing that all we really need is his approval. When the HS fills us we see that this worlds seductive attractions are only cheep substitutes for what God has to offer.))))

Every new year, we have a chance to reflect on what we truly believe – about ourselves and about God. It is an easy thing to get sucked into the mentality of the world. Of getting focused on the “here and now,” and let trivial things become more important than they should. We can think about the things we would like to have or fulfillment of ourselves. Instead, this morning, James challenges us to get re-focused on the eternal, on that which can bring us true joy and lasting value. To enjoy the beauty of nature – the miracles every day that God gives us, more than material things. To give thanks to God and spend time every day worshiping the God who creates and gives life and to share more of what we have with others. To walk humbly and receive grace – and give grace to others… and to thank God for his immeasurable and good grace.