I put my slides at: https://www.facebook.com/FCCElReno
This
is my fifth year to be a mother on mother's day and for the last 4,
every time, the only thing I can think of is how grateful I am to be a
mother. I think that, to me, every day is mother's day, because I get to
be a mother every day. I think about seeing my son's smile every day
and how much I love him. I think of my friends who have tried for 10,
15, 20 years even to have children and all their disappointments, my
friends who lost children during their pregnancies or that delivered a
child that wasn't alive. And I am just so grateful that I get to be a
mother - especially to a little boy that I am just crazy about. That's
why I chose this scripture from Psalms that children are our greatest
gift. I tell Max, "You are my very favorite gift from God," and I loved
when Julie Reuter shared at a MOPS group this scripture saying that
children truly are one of our greatest gifts from God.
And for
some reason, I felt like God really wanted me to speak on mother's day.
And I thought, what would I say because I don't know that I have any
fabulous things to say about motherhood. But then for some reason, all I
could think about is what the perfect gift for a mother would be. And
that for me, and I think most mothers, is what I tell Max often, that he
will be healthy and happy. So today, I thought I would talk especially
to those under 18 since you don't get lots of talks directed your way.
So,
to start, I am going to say what my idea of being happy is. I don't
mean a fake, "I'm so happy and everything is ok" happiness. I want my
child to be the kind of happy that doesn't change, no matter what
happens - good or bad - in his life. I want him to be able to deal with
difficult situations and not crash and burn. I want him to know what
makes him happy - and for the long run, not something that will just
bring him happiness for a short time. This is a happiness that we can't
produce on our own, but we can only access it through the love and grace
of God.
I can't help but to think about the teenage years -
really from 5th grade to 10th grade and how hard they are. Everybody
tells you to enjoy growing up - that it is the best time of your life;
but no one wants to go back and do them again. If we could do them the
first time with the knowledge we have now, it might have been better,
but I don't think any of us would want to take chances. When I was in
5th grade, the cool thing was swatch phones. Do you all know what I'm
talking about? They gave the user the ability for 2 people to be on one
handset and listen to conversations. So girls would get on them and call
someone and try to get them to say something bad about the other
person. Kids are cruel and growing up isn't for the weak of heart. But
in spite of all the bad things that happen, I think there are a couple
things that can give you hope.
1 - First of all, I would just
encourage every person 5th-10th grade that doesn't feel liked or doesn't
like themselves to realize 2 things… 1 that everyone else feels the
same way you do and 2 - you are the only one that knows all the bad
things about yourself. You may think that some of your friends feel good
about themselves or are more well liked, but I can guarantee you that
they have insecurities and feel like people don't like them. Even if out
of 200 people, 180 people like them, they will know the 20 that don't.
Most of us are so hard on ourselves because we know all the bad things,
but other people know a little bit here and there. So we can beat
ourselves up instead of seeing ourselves how others do. I think the most
determining factor is really confidence. I didn't feel like I was
well-liked, but after a year of college, I came back and the most
popular girl in my class suddenly thought I was cool. I was the same
person, but I didn't have as much confidence before - and maybe we just
didn't spend time together.
One time I was leading a group and I
said to a person I respected, "I always say the stupidest things" and
she looked at me and responded, "Oh, everyone feels that way." It was a
revelation to me at the time that everyone thought they said stupid
things.
We all think that situations that happen to us are
unique, that it is a special situation. Whatever is happening to us that
is difficult, we think it is unique to us. But the Bible tells us that
all our temptations and our problems are what are common to all people 1
Cor 10:13. Really, no matter what you are facing, there are probably
millions of people with the same problem. Stop yourselves from believing
this at a young age. Your problems are not unique, they are problems
your friends face or if not, that millions of others are facing
elsewhere in the world. It's a big world and lots of people have gone
before us. Realize that your problems are common and there has to be a
good way to deal with them. Search for solutions until you find them;
find others who you can trust to help you. God wouldn't give you a
problem that is unique to you; He will put someone else out there for
YOU who has faced your problem because he loves you. When you reach out
to the other person it is a gift to them, too. Don't deny someone else
the gift that God prepared for them.
I also think if you spend
enough time with just about anybody, you will find things you like about
them. Most people having redeeming qualities if you look for them. If
you are kind to the popular people (even if you don't like them) and the
unlikable people, you will win friends. As Jamie Gray told me, "No one
will want to know about God from someone who is grumpy." I can say that
looking back after 20 years, I don't really know how much I was liked or
not. I know it's hard to see yourself how other people do, but I just
want to encourage you that everyone feels the same way you do, and if
you choose to be confident and happy, people will like you.
2 -
My 2nd main point I recently read in an article from relevant magazine
titled "Can Rejection be good for you?" It talked about how rejection
results in "more negative feelings and reductions of self-esteem."
Rejection literally changes our brains - when we face it too often, our
brain learns to protect us. We can become afraid of trying again. We've
been rejected by that guy or girl. We've been turned down for jobs,
didn't get into the school we wanted, didn't get the raise, the kiss or
the invite to a friend's event. We feel separated. The fact is, we need
other people to survive. Rejection threatens this basic need, so our
bodies literally process it as pain. You may wonder what the point is in
this - a point I haven't ever thought of, but consider that we MUST
feel rejection to somehow relate to Christ. He knew what it felt like to
be rejected, didn't he? By every one he knew - and didn't know, for
that matter. But Jesus' rejection became other's salvation. As
disciples, we're called to imitate Jesus, to take up our crosses and
perhaps turn even rejection into compassion - for ourselves and others.
Pain is not evil and rejection should not be feared. We can reject the
rejector or we can have compassion on them instead.
And lastly, I
tell my son, I want him to be healthy. Yes, healthy as to make wise
dietary choices, to exercise, brush his teeth and take care of himself.
But healthy in the way he thinks about things and especially in his
relationships. Relationships are some of the things that make growing up
the most difficult, and I don't know how many of them are healthy in
junior high and high school. I would suggest to you NOT to worry about
having girlfriends and boyfriends in junior high and high school. I know
it is everywhere - you can't watch tv or movies from a young age
without learning that you should have a girlfriend or boyfriend. But
what I propose is this, date as many people as you can and don't feel
badly about it. I am especially a fan of just hanging out and not making
commitments. There are so many reasons why, but I don't think you would
ever regret it. You will find your high school years much more fun to
hang out with your friends and not have the drama of pleasing someone
else. Dating lots of people helps you know what you like and what you
don't like. Because chances are, you are not going to marry out of high
school. I can name 3 couples I knew in high school that are still
married and the rest that got married are divorced. Most broke up in
college. So why cause yourself the drama. I knew from a young age that I
was young and didn't want to commit to anyone until I was older and I
didn't want to put that on anyone else either. I wanted the guys I dated
to be seniors in high school, to be freshmen in college and have fun. I
truly believe if it is meant to be it will work out later in your 20s.
Let me say, you will get slack for it. My mother and grandmother called
me regularly at college and asked if I had a boyfriend yet. But don't
take dating so seriously. Live your life, be a friend to your friends,
have peace about it knowing you have the rest of your lives to be
married. It is work to be married, enjoy your youth without it.
But
when you are in your 20s and you think about marrying, I have a couple
thoughts. I think you have to separate your idea of marriage with what
marriage is. A question I recently heard is "Do you want a romance or do
you want a marriage?" They are different things. A romance might be
fun for a while, but any relationship in the long term takes work.
Marriage is hard work. I would say almost everyone I know has seriously
thought about divorce or couldn't stand their spouse. The people who
remain married for a long time do so because they are committed and they
work at it. So you can't base marriage on having a "connection" with
someone (like you hear on every tv show, which is why those
relationships don't work out).
Think about the other person that
God is preparing to marry you. What kind of choices would you like that
person to make? Be that kind of person. I once heard from Beth Moore
once and I have always found it to be true. Junk attracts junk. Whatever
amount of junk you carry (anger, bitterness, selfishness, etc) that you
face, you will attract someone with an equal amount of junk. It will
probably be a different kind of junk, but the same amount of junk none
the less. Think about it - look at couples you know. You will see that
it is true. So deal with whatever it is that really gets to you and work
through it BEFORE you consider dating someone seriously or get married.
Because if you don't, you will most likely get divorced. Why do you
think over half of people get divorced? Because they don't deal with it
first and then they expect someone else to make them better. No one will
ever make you feel better and you can not make someone else better. If
you think about most movies, there is a character, let's say a boy (but
this situation could be opposite with a girl) who gets into all kind of
trouble and then he falls in love with a girl and he completely changes
and everyone is happy. Think about it. About 90% of movies go this way.
But real life doesn't. You can't change the boy, no matter how much you
love him or he loves you.
My mom gave me a book in college and
it gave several questions you should ask yourself when you are
considering marriage. One was "Would you want to marry this person if
they NEVER changed from the way they are today." Not, if they just stop
drinking, or if they just wouldn't put you down or talk to you in a
certain way, but completely, as they are right now - never change.
Another question, similar, but more pressing, "How would you feel if you
had a child that acted just like this person." Would there be anything
about that that would drive you nuts? I would encourage you to think
about it and not fall into the idea of a relationship.
Finally,
try not to focus on the things that make you upset, sometimes you may
literally have to force yourself to think about something else. My dad
told me last year a doctor told him, "Your mind is not your friend."
It's not always. You have to train your mind sometimes to be happy and
to choose what is healthy for yourself. But it is worth it and no one
else can do it for you. But know in all things and all circumstances -
good or bad - you have the choice. The choice to become closer to God
more happy and more healthy or not. God gave you the choice. Sometimes
you will make the wrong decisions. It doesn't make you a bad person. If
it did, we would all be bad. Recognize it is just a bad decision. Tell
yourself tomorrow will be a better day, the sun will come up again and
you will have a better day. Most of all, don't waste your youth. Don't
get so caught up in the petty, crazy things that happen that you don't
allow yourself to have fun or be happy. God wants you to enjoy your
life, have a sense of humor and love other people. I can guarantee you
that no matter what happens, there is nothing you could ever do that
would make your mother or God love you any less.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Fruits of the Spirit: Patience, Kindness, Generosity
Fruits of the Spirit
Patience, Kindness, Generosity
Galatians 5: 16-22
16 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify
the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is
contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.
They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18
But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19 The acts of the
sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20
idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish
ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.
I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the
kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of
the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness,
23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those
who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and
desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Last time…
Love joy peace…Everything hinges on love, joy isn’t that
giddy happiness, but rather acknowledging and experiencing God as the source of
our delight and the satisfaction of our life, and finally, last week we talked
about peace admitting that we can all use a lot more peace.
But before we continue I need to say this, we can’t respond
with love, joy, peace or any of the other fruits of the spirit if we are still
living in the flesh, there’s two ways to live. And I want to show that video
clip from the movie Tree of Life starring Brad Pitt again. (Clip) I had some
requests to show it again.
"There are two ways through life: the way of nature and the way of grace. You
have to choose which one you'll follow. Grace doesn't try to please itself.
Accepts being slighted, forgotten, disliked. Accepts insults and injuries.
Nature only wants to please itself. Get others to please it too. Likes to lord
it over them. To have its own way. It finds reasons to be unhappy when all the
world is shining around it. And love is smiling through all things. The nuns
taught us that no one who loves the way of grace ever comes to a bad end."
The way of grace is living the fruits of the Spirit, this
week we’ll be looking at our next three patience, kindness, and generosity.
Patience
Regardless of where we are at we can all use more patience. There
are lots of occasions we need to be patient…if you have ever dealt with a
teenager, if you have ever dealt with your parents, the DMV, the government,
dealing with healthcare, making a customer service call to any company, but
sometimes our patience is in need of something more serious…sometimes our
inability to be patient gets someone hurt, or we embarrass ourselves or our
friends and family. Our anger or impatience can get the best of us and we
become unable to show love and compassion.
Here’s the definition: bearing provocation, annoyance,
misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without
complaint, anger, or the like.
The first part of patience is easy it’s the second part we
have a hard time with.
And Patience is an interesting one in our spiritual lives.
We have all been known to pray for or had someone ask to pray for them for
patience in given situations. But then someone will warn us, don’t pray for
patience! And why not? Because God will put you in situations where you need
patience. Someone challenged me to do some research on patience in the Bible
and that’s when I realized that we already have the gift of patience. We don’t
need to ask for it. We already have access to it at any point. We just have to
claim it.
Kindness
Is simply the desire to do good to others…pretty simple
right?
What does kindness look like? Does kindness mean being a
doormat?
If you are being bullied or abused…Jesus did not take
it…when his authority was questioned…he stood up for himself. Not in a violent,
confrontational way, but in a way that shows a desire to do good to others…responding
out of love with patience and kindness…
As I was preparing I was reminded of a recent hospital
visit…the RN was rude…ready to kick the person out of the hospital to a rehab
facility…claiming the patient had refused treatment and rehab…pain…myself and
the other friend in the room were about to explode…you could just feel the
tension building…but the patient showed love through her patience, kindness,
and generosity. Spoke with respect, spoke with humility. She effectively
diffused the situation with the fruits of the spirit.
Like the saying… “Kill them with kindness” actually
scriptural…
Proverbs 25
21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty,
give him water to drink.
22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the LORD will
reward you.
Matthew 5: 43-45
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and
hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute
you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.
Have you noticed what happens when you respond to a
situation with kindness? It diffuses the tension and catches the person off
guard. Some people are just looking to pick a fight. ‘Those looking to pick a
fight, probably aren’t in one.” Some people are like the garbage truck and just
looking for a place to dump. Regardless of who you encounter claim the fruit
and kill ‘em with kindness.
Generosity
Defined: freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or
character. Have you ever thought of someone who is not generous as being small
of mind and character? And that makes sense. I’ve notice that those who are
generous with their resources understand that their gifts are part of something
greater…a part of God’s plan to bring heaven to earth.
Another definition of course is:
Liberal in giving or sharing; unselfish
We talk often about generosity. That’s because, how generous
you are is a window to spirituality. This is an excellent way to measure how
much you are living in grace v. living in the world. And generosity is a lot
harder to fake. You can fake most of the gifts of the spirit, but you can’t
fake generosity. You either give of your resources or you don’t. People notice
a giver.
We are actually hard wired to give…recent study $100…
Generosity can take other forms…teaching Max to be last in
line.
Let’s think for a moment about the opposite of these 3
things? I think they would be intolerance, cruelty, and selfishness. Who here
wants to be known for this? No one-and yet there are times when we find
ourselves being all of these, maybe even at the same time, living in the flesh. But if we allow the negativity or our flesh
to rule our lives then that’s how we will see the world. It’s the duality of life
Grace v. Worldly. You always have a choice in how you respond.
Now I don’t know about you, but I am starting to notice a
pattern for myself. That each one of these pertains to my life and some areas
of growth for my own journey. I really need these things maybe in my driving
and the personal struggle I have with my driving habits. Shana once told me I
am a very offensive driver…I said thank you…come to find out she was not
complimenting me on my amazing driving skills…but rather that I was offending a
lot of people on the road.
And this week I was put into plenty of situations where I
could produce the fruits of patience kindness and generosity…some I did well
and some I did not. I’m learning to claim patience, kindness and generosity
more and more each day…my horn tends to get stuck…Lynda Fogg…at a light-double
tap…
So how do you claim the gifts of the Holy Spirit? How do you
claim any gift? Accept it, redeem it, know that it’s there…but you have to
trust the source. I’ve been waiting to share this email I got. I am about to be
a very wealthy man.
Your ID Won One Million Pounds With BRITISH TELECOM
PROMO.With Ticket No:3BTO2012 Send Your
Name:......Address:.......Phone:....Country.......To Our Secertary- Rev John
via email:( telecom@tnctr.com ) You are
to Copy the secertary email address and send your details to the claims
secertary mail address telecom@tnctr.com
Unlike my million pounds that will be delivered any day, I
can trust the source of the fruits of the spirit. God is trustworthy and I can bank
on the fruit always being there…I simply have to reach out and pick it.
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